After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
