you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
