I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
