wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
