I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
