he puts the penis in happiness.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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