Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
