yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
