Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry homieesmasher hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.

Fav 8 1095 2962
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?

Fav 185 4417 1503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

Fav 9 2022 877
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

Fav 8 974 1898
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.

Fav 2 1288 652
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

(404): View more from Georgia

I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

Fav 3 2713 894
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.

Fav 2 1718 568
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

Fav 5 666 883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!

(404): View more from Georgia

The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night

Fav 2 579 369
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT