You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
