"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
