She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She told me I should be a condom model.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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