Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Randomize
