I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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