too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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