O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
