I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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