I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
