i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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