You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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