9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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