I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
