Tell her she can't have a vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
