How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
