Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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