On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
