NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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