Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
