I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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