eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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