they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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