i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
