Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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