I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
