Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
