Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
