Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
