Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
