is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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