She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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