That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
