cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
