this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
