Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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