Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
