Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You left your phone here
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