Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
