hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
