just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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