i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
