6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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