Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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