last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
