now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
