we have officially lost it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
