other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
