the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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